Doubt
by slave4kai
Summary: Kai cant make up his mind if he loves Rei or not... it takes him.. all night... to decide REIxKAI ONESHOT!


Hiya I know I've only just started a fic, but this idea just jumped into my head and I had to do it   
  
Its my first song fic so sorry if it isn't that good but i hope you enjoy it the song itself is by The Rasmus, In The Shadows... the lyrics themselves are in bold  
  
S4K

* * *

**Doubt**

****  
  
**No sleep  
  
no sleep until I am done with finding the answer  
  
won't stop  
  
wont stop before I find a cure for this cancer**

****  
  
He sat in the shadow filled corner, his crimson eyes closed tight as thoughts from the previous day entered his mind. The full moon shone silver beams of light through the window opposite the thoughtful blader. Light skimming his hair and cheeks, outlining his features.  
  
His mind criss-crossed over from left to right on how he felt about that special someone. The moments he shared with him that day were still perfectly printed on his eyelids.  
  
_Flashback _  
  
Joyful laughter whispered in the wind as smiles filled the area around the two of them. Their eyes watching each other's every move as they played on the beach, the golden sun slowly turning to a hypnotising red as it sank into the horizon like a falling leaf in early autumn.  
  
The Chinese boy fell to the sandy ground with laughter, clutching his stomach, his eyes watering with bliss.  
  
"It wasn't that funny," laughed the captain his eyes shining in the sun, as he picked up a small stone, bringing his arm back to throw it into the glittering sea. His ruby eyes watched it bounce along the waves, eventually disappearing into the blue depths of the ocean.  
  
Golden orbs, surrounded by raven hair blowing in the gentle breeze, looked up at his leader who was standing with his back to him. He reached up, took his hand and pulled him down next to him.  
  
He pouted at the feline blader, staring at him for a second... then with a swift movement he pinned his teammate down, his arms at his side, and straddled his waist, a smirk creeping its way across his painted face.  
  
The restrained blader looked up staring into his mahogany eyes. Passion filled lust growing stronger inside of him. He forced him back and sat up, with him still perched on his lap, leaning closer to his glittering eyes their lips met one another.  
  
_Flashback finish ___

_  
_  
**Sometimes I feel like going down and so disconnected Somehow I know that I am haunted to be wanted**

****  
  
Dull cherry red eyes slowly flickered open and looked up at the moon glowing brightly on him, the silver beams reflecting from his eyes.  
  
He brought his knees up and sat hugging them, digging deep in his heart to find an answer that he hand longed to learn for so long. Days had past when he had chosen to ignore his feelings, block out the world, shield himself, locking him away from caring eyes. But there were times when his confused emotions just wouldn't let him say no... Times like these.  
  
His mind ached with puzzlement; he cupped his head in his hands trying to uncover some hidden courage to tell him how he really felt. The love and desire that he experienced when he was around him, the wonderful feeling that he obtained when he heard his soft voice in the calm air. But still, with all these feelings racing around him, the guts to actually go through with speaking those three magical words passed over him.

**I been watching I been waiting In the shadows all my time**

****  
  
He closed his eyes as an image of the one he dreamed of came to view. His raven hair falling freely over his face and his golden orbs blinked slowly in the breeze as he sat with one knee up. The side of his mouth lifted into a slight smile as he stared back at his captain.  
  
He shuck his head trying to free his mind from the picture, it was only making things worse seeing his beautiful face. Even though he attempted to remove the image from his mind, seeing his face was reassuring, and positive thoughts came to him.  
  
The cat like movements he made, his long raven hair blowing freely across his face. Light shining in his mysterious eyes.  
  
Times he spent with his team-mate would always be with him, memories from tournaments, battles, and just spending time together juggled around inside him as a smile snuck onto his face.  
  
Crimson orbs opened yet again as he sighed heavily. Slowly looking around the shadow filled room, he stood up, walking over to the window. The radiance of the moon shone brighter on his face as he unlocked the catch of the window and swung it wide open into the night.  
  
Muscular arms pulled his body up onto the window sill, swinging his legs round, they dangled down as he sat on the edge, a gentle wind blowing his blue tinted hair to the left, covering half of his face.   
  
He took a deep breath, tilting his head back as he breathed in the pure air. His eyes reflecting the moon and stars like two elegant mirrors.

**I been searching I been living For tomorrows all my life  
  
In the shadows  
  
In the shadows**

****  
  
Why is it so hard... he thought to himself, bringing his head back, looking straight ahead at the calm sea lapping up onto the tinted sand.  
  
His pale hands rubbed his eyes as he argued with himself in his mind. He looked over to his right, and then up at the purple velvet sky, his ruby orbs instantly locked onto a dark, dull cloud slowly floating over in his direction as a flash filled the sky followed by a distant rumble.  
  
Sighing, he pulled up one leg and rested his chin on his knee.  
  
He began to picture a scene in his head if he were to tell him how he felt. He saw the Chinese boy standing there, listening to his words never once blinking or interrupting what he had to say. After he had finished telling him, his mind went blank when he tried to see what his reaction would be, and no matter how much he fought, the image wouldn't come back to him.  
  
This only meant one thing to him, that his reaction would be painful to take, rejection, loneliness. He struggled to get it out of his mind, trying his absolute hardest to picture a positive reaction, that he would be happy and say he felt the same way... but he couldn't, which put him off telling him the truth even more.

**They say that i must learn to kill before i can feel safe  
  
but I   
  
I rather kill myself then turn into their slave**

****  
  
He lightly closed his eyes and sighed heavily. Confused and hurtful feelings galloping around his body and soul, making him feel alone and cold. How much he yearned to be in the arms of his love right now, the comfort of his embrace to give him the feeling of bliss. A shoulder to cry on was all he needed at that moment, someone to spill all his emotion on he pleaded in his mind for someone to come... but his only reply was the heaven's opening above him and rain began to fall.  
  
The rain was thin like a damp mist, but it soaked his skin and hair quickly. Not caring anymore the captain continued to sit silently, the watery mist spraying him gently, wetting his face he could feel his painted cheeks running.  
  
Mahogany eyes fluttered open as droplets fell from his eyelashes and onto his lap. A bright flash lit up the world around him as he watched a fork of lightning pierce the sea, making the waves pick up in the wind and rain. Next a loud echoing rumble of thunder bounced around the sky, as it did the only thought that remained in his mind was how perfect his surroundings were for the way he was feeling. The mind blowing storm blowing around, targeting anything it wants to, trying to find the thing that will take it to earth quickest, and just like he was trying to find the fastest way to an answer.

**Sometimes  
  
I feel that I should go and play with the thunder Somehow I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder**

****  
  
As the tall blader sat hugging his knee, anger began to appear in his mind, the frustration overtaking him.  
  
All he wanted was for his thoughts to leave his mind, block it all away, he didn't care how it happened... he just wanted to be free from the pain of love.

****

**I been watching****  
  
I been waiting in the shadows all my time I been searching I been living for tomorrows all my life  
  
Lately I been walking, walking in circles, watching waiting for something  
  
feel me touch me hear me, come take me higher**

****  
  
He sat still hugging his knee tightly; the rain began to get lighter, eventually coming to a stop as the last tremor of thunder shuck the world around him. His crimson eyes began to fill up with tears; a tiny river began to flow down his cheeks.  
  
I cant stop it... he thought silently to himself... "I love him," his voice was strong, but yet at the same time as weak as a whisper as tears dripped from his cheeks. He lifted his head up towards the sky looking at the purple hinted velvet.  
  
Bringing his soaking head back down, resting his chin in his chest as droplets of freezing water dripped from the tips of his hair. A smile coming over him, actually saying it out loud relived him of some of the agonising pain and stress he was feeling, but the terror of saying it to who he needed to still haunted the back of his mind.

****

**I been watching  
  
I been waiting  
  
in the shadows all my time  
  
I been searching  
  
I been living  
  
for tomorrows all my life**

****

****

The tall blader sat calmly, taking deep slow breaths, his body jerking every now and then from the cold. He shut his eyes again, but only to be greeted by the same image of one person he desired so much. Seeing him standing there alone and not being able to hold him in his arms, the sad lonely expression in his eyes killing the mahogany eyed boy more and more as he looked at them.  
  
"...Kai," a kind soft voice filled the room and a warm hand touched his wet shoulder.  
  
His crimson eyes shot open in shock and he spun round, his eyes greeted with gold.  
  
"Uh..." was all Kai could say before Rei had his arms round him and pulling him from the window.  
  
"Kai you're wet through... and freezing, come on..." Rei helped him down from the window ledge and sat down with him on the bed, his eyes never once blinking.  
  
Kai sat down and swallowed hard, he began to feel very hot all of a sudden as he looked up at Rei.  
  
Both of them locked onto one another as crimson merged with gold. Their eyes not moving from their set target.  
  
The two bladers began to breath heavy as they sank deeper and deeper into each others soul, neither one of them saying a word or making the slightest move.  
  
A final cloud passed over the moon and a brilliant silver light once again lit up the room, casting shadows here and there, the beam of radiance shone onto Kai and Rei, making their four eyes shine with beauty and brilliance.

****

**I been watching  
  
I been waiting  
  
I been searching  
  
I been living for tomorrows all my life**

****

****

Rei shifted closer to his leader, his eyes still firmly gripping onto the beauty before him.  
  
Thoughts began to race through each of their minds.  
  
_Why is he looking at me like that..._  
  
_I'd give so much...  
_  
_Just to take him...  
_  
_In my arms..._  
  
_Kiss his lips and..._  
  
_Never let go..._

__   
  
**In the shadows  
  
In the shadows  
  
I been waiting**

****  
  
Instantly both their bodies move forward, their faces meeting less than and inch away.  
  
Rei wrapped his arms round Kai's waist and pulled him closer, "Kai... I..."  
  
"...Love you..." Kai pressed his lips against his, instantly opening his mouth to deepen the kiss he had wanted for so long.  
  
The answer to his question of love had finally been answered.

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Yaaaaaaay finished so what ya'll think? Please review I love you all!!!!!!

S4K


End file.
